Whispers of Birth

Navigating Decisions, Doubts, and New Beginnings

At 35-36 weeks pregnant, I find sleep slipping further from my grasp. To soothe my restless body, I’m adding magnesium to my nightly ritual—a warm cup of red raspberry tea alongside my usual companions: alfalfa, six sweet dates, primrose oil, and my Ritual prenatal vitamin. This week holds new beginnings. For the first time, I will welcome the healing touch of acupuncture and a chiropractor’s adjustment, with excitement as I step into these unfamiliar realms of care.

I’ve self-diagnosed—perhaps I’m 1 cm dilated, but truly, who knows? Soon, my midwives and doula team will gather in my home, breathing life into the final steps of preparation. We’ll walk through these rooms, discuss plans, and share our last appointments together. My camera will start to roll then, as previously mentioned, I plan to film my home birth to share with my audience to capture these moments of anticipation and readiness. My son is ever-present, his kicks a constant reminder of his growing strength. They don’t hurt, not yet, though my back feels the weight of these final weeks. I catch myself thinking, this will be nothing compared to labor, and let the discomfort pass without complaint. It simply is.

A prenatal massage awaits me, a small grace gifted by one of my doulas. Between moments of self-care, I’ve buried myself in the wisdom of books—each one a lantern guiding me toward birth and beyond. Real Food for Pregnancy, Birthing Within, The Vaccine-Friendly Plan, Baby Catcher, and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth have all whispered their lessons to me, but none quite like The Vaccine-Friendly Plan. Insecurity once clouded my thoughts on vaccines—so many voices, so many opinions. Friends and family on both ends of the spectrum, some embracing every recommendation, others shunning them all. But through this book, I’ve found a middle path, one that feels authentically mine.

I will watch my son closely, honoring his responses to each vaccine, and adjust as needed, allowing his well-being to guide our choices. It’s a decision I never expected to make, but it’s rooted in my own research, in conversations that gave me clarity. If you too are navigating these waters, please ask—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. Once uncertain, I now feel a confidence blooming within me, one that I hope can offer some comfort in your own decision-making.

Yes, it may seem like I’m trying to do everything “right”—because I am. But I hold these plans loosely, knowing full well that life often reshapes what we’ve carefully crafted. Adaptability has always been my ally, and as I step into this final month, I will lean into it, trusting that whatever unfolds, I will be ready.